Second Match Meeting

On Friday we had our second match meeting with our soon to be baby's birth mother and her family. We decided to stay overnight since we were all the way in Bakersfield and the meeting wasn't until 5pm.

We drove down with no issues and checked into a Holiday Inn Express (Thanks for using your points for the room Dad!). We chose this hotel because it is close to the hospital where the birth mother will be delivering. We wanted to explore the lay of the land a little since we won't know until that day if we will need to get a hotel or if we will be able to stay in the hospital with the baby.

We met with the birth mother, her parents, sister, and social worker at a restaurant. We also had the privilege of meeting her 15 month old son. He is SOOO cute! Jake just kept looking at him saying "Wow!" To think that our child will probably look very similar to him at that age! It was nice being in a very relaxed atmosphere to get to know each other better. The birth mother said she has been doing great throughout her pregnancy and her doctor said the baby looks very healthy. We mostly just chatted, but we did have some business to attend to.

We talked about the hospital plan. The birth mother said she would like me in the labor and delivery room if we get there in time. (Her first baby came in a couple of hours!) She said she would like to be the first one to hold the baby, then she would like me to. She said she would like Jake to come in as soon as she is covered up so he can have a chance to hold the baby right away. She said she would like Jake and I to provide most of the care for baby in the hospital. The social worker said they will try to arrange everything with the hospital ahead of time so we can have a room (But there are no guarantees...every hospital is different) The birth mother will be able to still see baby as much as she wants to in the hospital. We had to sign documents allowing the social worker to release our identifying information to the hospital. We also have to send her pictures so they can be given to the hospital so they know who we are. The birth mother's mom or sister in law will call us when she goes into labor.

We also talked about the Open Adoption Plan. Everything is pretty standard. We are to provide pictures and letter updates every three months for the first 2 years, then twice a year after that until the child is 18. Four visits will be planned in the first year with one per year after that. Of course this can be flexible if circumstances need it to be.

The whole birth family is extremely sweet and open. We feel like communication will be a strength in this relationship. Most of our contact at this time is set to go through the birth mother's parents. Usually the adoptive family communicates directly with the birth mother, but in this case the birth mother feels like she might need some time before she is ready for contact. We assured her that we want to be sensitive to her feelings and realize they can change at any time. We gave her our cell phone numbers and told her to feel free to text or call any time. That we will wait for her to initiate contact. Until then we will send all photos and updates to her mom who can make them available to her as she is ready. (What a bitter-sweet process this is...) We told the family that we are open to the visits including the birth mother's parents, sisters, and son. We found out she is making a scrapbook with pictures of herself growing up as well as pictures of their whole family. She is also working on a letter that she can send home with the baby. We are so happy we will be able to have this to share with our child!

After a show put on by the birth mother's son, showing us how quick he is and how high he can jump!, we parted and marveled at the fact that next time we are together we will be at the hospital!

The next morning Jake and I went to the hospital where the birth mother plans to deliver. We found out where to go if she were in Labor and Delivery or in Postpartum. We also found the nearest Starbucks (Ha!).

On our way home we stopped at the Tulare Outlet Mall and hit a couple of fun stores... Gymboree, Osh kosh, Carters... :) We picked up a couple of cute boy outfits and a diaper bag. Time to have it ready to go! We met our friend Ashlee at the outlets and for lunch. It was a fun break on our drive home.

Tomorrow the birth mother will be 37 weeks along! We are making our lists of things that need to be done ASAP to be ready for baby. All of the major bases are covered...there are just little things here and there we want to have done.

I think that is pretty much it, more updates to come! :)